The past few weeks I have been focusing most of my time and efforts on my performances for Taiwan's hit TV show-- Super Idol. I guess I've subconsciously, or maybe just purposefully, been delaying announcing that I auditioned for the show until I saw how the earlier rounds went. But now that my first episode has already aired last weekend showing me enter the national top 46, there's not much point trying to hide it any longer.
Just before Chinese New Year, a friend of mine invited me to watch the live filming of Super Idol's Season 2 finale. As I sat there in the live studio audience watching the contestants compete, I felt that familiar rush of excitement and knew that I wanted a chance to stand on that stage and perform for Taiwan.
People keep asking me "Do you really think that an American guy has a chance at winning Taiwan's Super Idol?" It's a good question. I've competed in a similar competition in Mainland China, and as a foreigner I was subject to certain restrictions. I was informed by the TV producers and knew from the beginner of the show that foreigners would not be allowed in the top ten, and subsequently I was cut from the competition the week before the top ten was announced. So you can imagine my excitement when I saw that the winner and runner-up from Season 2 of Super Idol were both from Malaysia. Apparently talent is more important than nationality in Taiwan's Super Idol.
But winning Super Idol is not what I want to be thinking about right now--I just want to focus on giving my best performance possible this week! You can watch my performance from last week on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImDjCGWXpC4
Last week before going on stage for this performance I seriously thought my Idol journey was over before it ever really began. I was feeling completely calm before the show started but I was second to last to sing so I had to sit and wait for a few hours before actually going on stage. The longer I sat and heard the judges rip each contestant apart, the more nervous I became. Half-way through the show I suddenly realize--I can't remember the lyrics to my song!!! aaaghh!! I started freaking out. No matter how hard I tried, I could not remember the lyrics. I just kept thinking--I am about to go on stage to sing in front of all of Taiwan and I can't remember a single lyric beyond the first line. I have worked so hard for my dream and come so far, this is my last chance to make it happen and now I am going to throw it away before I ever really had a shot. How can I ever live this down? What will I tell all my family and friends? My whole life I'll have to look back on this pinnacle moment when I lost my dream in one fell swoop. I'm better than this-- I can't let it end this way. I'm not ready to say goodbye to my dream.
So Super Idol has been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster so far...haha (no really though, that's not even the half of it). But as you can see from the youtube clip, I remembered the lyrics just in time before going on stage and I managed to keep my cool for the performance. That experience has helped me remember to stay focused on why I auditioned for Super Idol and why I do what I do. I sing because I love to sing. When I get too caught up in the competition, wanting to sound good to the judges and the audience, that's when the nerves really kick in. I may not be the best singer in the world but I LOVE to sing--it's part of who I am. I feel like I have something to share and express, and I want to share it with Taiwan.
Who knows, maybe an American boy really can be Taiwan's next Super Idol : )
